Tucker and Karli: A Four-Week Whirlwind

I don't think it's my place to go into all the private details of the past four weeks since Tucker returned from his mission, but I do what to share what these last four weeks have been like through my eyes.

Having a son return home from a mission is a singular experience--one I don't have the words or ability to explain. Even as I write, tears prick my eyes and joy fills my heart at the memory of that special day, a day that made all 730 days before it worth every moment I missed him.

When he returned, Tucker quickly adjusted back into life with our family, but he was rarely alone.

"Tucker" quickly became "Tucker and Karli."


I've been down this married child road once before--and I consider myself one of the luckiest moms in the world to have a son-in-law like our Sam. His devotion to my daughter and his children is genuine and good, and I am often brought to my knees with gratitude for all he does for them.

However, mothers have unique relationships with their sons.  It is so tender to know that you are the only girl they've ever loved, the only girl who's ever held their little boy heart in your hand.

When Tucker came home, I knew he would return a man, and as much as I understood about his relationship with Karli, and as much as I knew in my head where life would take them--together--I don't think my heart was completely ready to be replaced so quickly.

And it was quick. Each day led to light-year progressions in their seven-year relationship.  I thought things would go quickly, and I was right.  Thankfully, my son willingly included me.

Tucker confided in me some of his fears for the future and many of his dreams.  He consulted with me about when would be the best time to propose and how to do it.  We spent late nights talking and discussing and planning--talking like adults.  I will never forget those nights and the time I got to spend alone with my grown son--now not only as his mother, but also as his friend.  I got to know him as the adult he had become over the past two years, and I couldn't have been more impressed.

When he asked me to accompany him while he went ring shopping, I was elated. That was the day when I saw him as an adult. Although I was needed for opinion and advice, he negotiated politely and well, reminding me so much of Brad as he settled on the perfect ring at a fair price.  I will look back on that day fondly for many years to come.

Now, the formal proposal is over, the date is set (September 20th), the temple is reserved, the reception hall is preparing (our yard).  Karli left for Brussels, Belgium, last Saturday--she's spending ten all-expense-paid weeks working and traveling through Europe.  Tucker left last Sunday for Provo to work as an EFY counselor for the next four weeks. Then he'll be home for a few more weeks before school and his new life take him away. I couldn't be happier for both of them--truly a match made in heaven.

As hard as it is to see your children grow up and leave the nest forever, I take solace in the realization that although I'm being replaced as number one in his heart, I will always be the first one to have been there. 

The first to care for him, and most importantly, the first to love him.

Tucker and Karli--Part 1

I haven't really told Tucker's and Karli's story.  I didn't want to pry, and mostly, I didn't want to tell more than they told themselves.

Let's start with a short summary of the Tucker/Karli story, shall we?

Tucker and Karli began running with the same group of friends when they were in ninth grade.  It was a great group of kids, and I was thrilled that Tucker had finally found a group where he belonged.

I loved Karli from the first.  She is funny, smart, beautiful, great with kids, and grounded in what matters in life.  Many many times over the next four years I would jokingly tell Tucker, "You should marry Karli, you know that."  He would roll his eyes and say, "MOMMMM!"  in that tone all moms recognize.

They went to Homecoming their junior year, and continued to hang out in the same group of friends.  During this time of his life, Tucker would have told you that Karli was his best friend.  But that was all.  Best friends.

When it came time for him to think about his senior prom, Tucker didn't really want to go.  He thought it was a waste of money, and who would want to go with him, anyway?  I told him he needed to go because if he stayed home, then that meant some senior girl who really wanted to go would end up spending the night at home and that wouldn't be fair for her.  Then I told him he needed to ask Karli.

"She wouldn't want to go with me.  She has tons of other guys who will ask her."  This was true, it turned out.  Right at that moment he got a text from a friend, "I hear that __________ is going to ask Karli to Prom."

Tucker got his dander up a little, and that's when he decided he was going to ask her first. And she said yes.

Six weeks later, I planned an Amazing Race day activity for their group to complete the Saturday before Prom, and Tucker and Karli walked away with the prize.  After the activity was over, Tucker and I were standing at the kitchen island when he said, "Ya know, Mom, Karli makes a pretty good partner."

Duh, Tuck.

By the time Prom was over, they were an item.

They spent their summer hanging out together and realizing there was something between them that had developed past being best friends for the past four years.

They both headed up to BYU that fall and purposely spent much of their time apart, dating other people and having freshman college experiences.  As the school year neared its end, Tucker received his mission call to New York City, and they both knew they would be apart for the next two years.  Although he didn't expect her to don mourning clothes and cloister herself during his mission, Tucker really hoped Karli would be available when he returned home.  When he asked her if she might be around in May 2013, she replied, "That was always the plan."

Karli stayed in the background as he prepared to leave, never encroaching on our family time, but often included in our activities.  When he left, she occasionally visited our family when she was home from school, and they wrote each other throughout his mission (she more regularly than he). 

Hundreds of letters over two years.

We thought she might be around when he got home,and as the months dwindled to weeks and then days until he returned, we realized that this relationship would last through two years spent apart.

Tomorrow:  A four-week whirlwind

Foto Friday--First Real Photo Shoot

Like I said earlier, summer is kicking my trash.

Just this week we had . . .

 eight swimming lessons

four dive team practices

ten swim team practices

 one dive meet

 one swim meet

ten basketball camp practices

five musical theatre rehearsals

two musical theatre performances

one musical theatre cast pool party

one piano lesson

six play practices

four dental appointments

 one lost Social Security card

 . . . and nine new chickens joined our family.

Throw into this whole crazy mess my first real photo shoot.  I wasted hours looking up techniques and ideas and styles online.  I cleared all of my memory cards and charged my batteries. I stressed over my lack of experience and prayed that I'd get just a few good shots. I found two good locations and spent two evenings shooting pictures of two of my favorite people.

 

Oh, did I neglect to mention that we also had an engagement this week?

Yes, you heard me right.  Tucker got engaged Monday night.  This, my friends, is the main reason I have been absent from blogland much of this week.

More to come about Tucker and Karli and their story next week.

I am going to catch up on my sleep this weekend and spoil the father of my children a little bit (and fold more neglected laundry, even though I swore I'd never let it pile up again).  Have a great Father's Day!

A Little Hero Worship

Evie has been Tucker's shadow ever since he got home.

I don't know who loves it more--the baby sister or the big brother.

A Date with One of My Favorite Guys

When Hyrum's friend invited us to come with them to a Diamondbacks game, I didn't know how Hyrum would like it.  Sitting in one place for hours on end, watching a sport he knows nothing about?

I shouldn't have worried. We had a great time.

We rode the train to downtown Phoenix, in itself a big adventure. (He did have a bathroom issue while stuck on the train, but I'll leave that to your imagination.)

I had told him about all the ballpark food, and he was single-mindedly focused on getting a corn dog or nachos when we arrived, but the moms insisted that we find seats and watch part of the game first.  He actually wanted to know some of the rules and learned quickly.

But his hunger would only be postponed for so long!  A corn dog, some nachos and a soda later, and he was much happier.

He and his buddy pulled faces and joked around.  They played "Bubble gum, bubble gum, in a dish" dozens of times and occasionally stopped to watch the game in between sightings of the cotton candy vendor and requests to buy some PLEEEEEZE?

By the seventh inning, it was time to give in to the treat request--cotton candy for Hyrum and a caramel apple for his buddy.

Top of the eighth, D'backs were down 1-0 when Goldschmidt hit a homer with two on base.  It was awesome!  The boys cheered and jumped up and down. D'backs won!

Even better--it was Friday night, so the game ended with fireworks.

What a great night.  I loved watching the excitement of the game and the joy of new experiences climb across my son's face.  It will be a treasured memory--our date to Chase Field.

Foto Friday--Just a Look into My Real Life

Summer is kicking my trash.

I can't seem to get on top of anything yet, and it's been two weeks.

Here's one example:

For as long as I can remember, I've done all of our laundry on Monday.  Sometimes it waits until Tuesday to all be folded, but it's always washed on Monday, unless we are out of town.

I was too busy the last week of school, and for the first time in probably ever I left the laundry unfolded before we left for Lake Powell.

Then, we didn't get home from Powell until Monday night.  Laundry washed on Tuesday.  Two weeks' worth of clean clothes piled in baskets on the chest in my bedroom.

Then--Brad and I left for a youth conference on Thursday morning, not returning home until Saturday.  By the time Mom had a minute to address the laundry, it was strewn all over my bedroom--kids had rifled through each basket looking for shorts, underwear, swimsuits. 

I sighed.

Then, finally, on Monday of this week, I tackled three weeks' worth of laundry (minus essentials that had been worn, washed, basketed, then recycled by enterprising young children).

It was scary. 

But not as scary as this photo bomb.

It took me hours and hours just for the clothes.

Then I addressed the sock basket.  I figured three weeks was enough time to corral all the lost socks, so I dumped in the mismatched sock bucket, and I dove in.

And I thought it had taken a long time to fold the clothes.

Literally four HOURS later, I had 118 pairs matched.

One whole grocery bag of destroyed or holey or unmatched socks thrown away.

Well, on the bright side, at least I have one big chore out of the way.

I just wish the rest of my house could magically clean itself, since sock matching for four hours killed a few of my already volatile brain cells.

School-Year Wrap-Up: Micah

Micah, Micah, Micah.

This boy's year was full of extremes. He won the district poetry writing contest, yet he was unable to complete a satisfactory paper on Leif Ericson.  He performed piano solos at two recitals, the school talent show, and even in church, yet I can barely get him to practice. He received the highest number of reading points in his class, yet I couldn't get him to branch away from his favorite series (Harry Potter or anything by Rick Riordan) to try something new.

Micah had one of the very best teachers I've ever had the privilege of working with, yet she couldn't motivate him to present his best work in anything.

Micah's school year is what prompted me to write my series on intellectually gifted children (first of five posts here).  I faced these same struggles with both of my older boys about this age, and both times I would have to admit that I failed--failed to find their motivation, failed to teach them to work hard, failed in helping them feel that I still loved them even though our relationship became focused on school.

I have to believe that I can still find the answer and that next year will be better for him.

Because I can't resist that impish smile and those chocolate eyes.

Love you, Mikes.